lucyglacier.jpg

Bio 

Hi! My name is Lucy. I recently read in Ask a Manager that introducing yourself like this in a cover letter makes you sound "under the age of 15" but A. This isn't a cover letter, you came to this site on your own accord and B. I already look under 15 anyway (I'm actually 30! Please stop carding me for R-rated movies!), so why not? 

I am a humor and personal essay writer based out of my parents' retirement community in Beaufort, South Carolina. I have three cats! Would you like to hear about them or my many accomplishments? If you'd like to hear about the cats, please turn to page 3 (this is a website there is no page 3, just email me for pics), if you'd like to hear about my many accomplishments, keep reading this bio! 

In 2017 I had the MOST READ piece on McSweeney's! YUP. I couldn't believe it either! I also had a story featured on the Moth podcast about how my fiance and I accidentally proposed to each other on the same day. Other than those things, I've been published in Bust, McSweeney's again a few times, The Belladonna, HelloGiggles, Greatist, and more! I also write sketch comedy that has been performed at Go Comedy in Detroit.

I am very professional: I have a real MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the University of North Carolina Wilmington that one of my cats actually peed on because I guess metaphor. 

If you're here because I applied for a job with you, please hire me! I am good at jobs and I will bring the whole office cupcakes frequently! 

If you're wondering who that dog is, her name is Pearl and she's the dog of the family I used to au pair for in Melbourne, Australia. I miss her.